i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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