My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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