I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
