I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
