and she was petting her beer can
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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