Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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