Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
