dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
