Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I look better un-naked...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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