What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
