whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
