we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
