season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
