I'm drive I can fine osifer
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
it was like eating out sand paper
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
