Kiss
Puke
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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