obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
