maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
