you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im holly from the hills drunk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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