are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
