I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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