24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize