New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
