I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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