just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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