my being single is dangerous.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
