So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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