I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
