I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
