it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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