have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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