WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
