oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
