And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
