You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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