I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.