ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
