i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
