If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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