The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
