we're blogging at a bar
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
