you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
