your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
