also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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