Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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