there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
These tits shall not be calmed
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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