How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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