i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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