Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This girl is more easily done than said...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
