Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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