god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
