Dual....:-)
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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