just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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