i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
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I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
3 2 1 whiskey
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The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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