I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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