Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't deserve a penis
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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