ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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