I can text with my tongue
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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