Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
