Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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